"I love you, I got you"

It’s late at night and I should be studying. But for a little over two months now my mind and heart have been racing with emotions and thoughts and spiritual ponderings over the events that have been occurring in the world around me. I’ve started this blog several times – I have created three different word documents now. Each contains paragraphs of notes, personal stories, small observations, quotes, articles, and scripture.

These are some of the specific large scale events that I reference;

On October 27, 2015 the LDS Church wrote a letter to members of the Church encouraging members to help with the refugee crisis in Europe. The LDS church has spent millions of dollars there throughout the past decade and committed $5 million more in September. I was proud of my church and to have already been a part of a small effort to raise money for the crisis – weeks prior we had a special Family Home Evening where we taught Lacy about the crisis and helped her be part of a fundraising project where she donated her own money.

On Nov. 05, 2015 the LDS Church made news across the country with a policy change concerning children of same-sex marriages. Ultimately, the Church cut itself out of these families/lifestyles and eliminated potential future conflict.  My social media exploded with conviction, emotion, confusion, and only some love and acceptance.

On November 13, 2015 Paris was under attack by terrorist plots to kill and hurt. The refugee crisis quickly came into light again. My social media exploded with conviction, emotion, confusion, and only some love and acceptance.

On December 02, 2015 in San Bernardino, CA two individuals with apparent terrorist motivations shot and killed 14 people and left 21 others injured. My social media exploded with conviction, emotion, confusion, and only some love and acceptance.

Among my own family, we’ve been consistent with our perspective on each of these emotional events. Nevertheless, my mind doesn’t stop racing with this question, “What should I do?” I find a constant battle within myself as I try and determine if I should say something, or comment on a post, or update my status, or take a position.  And if I do then what should I say and how should I say it.  Well, today I’m going to make it clear of what I’ll do each and every time. I want to be undoubtedly clear about what position I’ll take. But first, here’s the story that got me to stop studying and start writing all this down.

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Stephanie Rose (Martinez) Baldwin was a Sister that I served with on my LDS mission in Florida. I think she hated me for a while. I remember legitimately feeling like she couldn’t stand my guts. But for some reason, I couldn’t help myself but appreciate her more and more and just be out-of-the-way cheesy nice to her. However, it seemed to me, that the more I demonstrated my appreciation the more I felt like she disliked me. And the more I felt like she disliked me, the more I appreciated her. And so it went for months. She has since confirmed that our torturous cycle of like and dislike was not in my head.

Eventually, I cornered her. I vividly remember asking her what I needed to do to put us on good terms. Unfortunately, I have absolutely no memory of the rest of that conversation. :o BUT, I continued to appreciate her. Some weeks later (I’m foggy on the timeline) my roommate and I returned home and, to our total surprise, we found home-made Rice Krispie treats mysteriously awaiting us inside. The story could end there and I think we’d all be satisfied. But with the delightfully scrumptious treats came a note containing the “10 things I love about Elder Kienzle” from Sister Martinez. I never felt the dislike, confusion, or hate again – those feelings had been fully and unsparingly replaced with love, respect, mutual appreciation, and peace. Six years later, she was one of the few people that helped me pay for a trip to Guatemala where I treated the underserved in a free clinic, shaped my future as a physician, and changed the foundation of how my family looks at service. Apparently, love paid off. Strangers turned into family and hate turned into love.

On December 02, 2015 I got to see Stephanie again, but this time on national news. Her sister had been shot. I watched from the comfort of my home as Stephanie recounted the short, tear filled phone call and recalled the three most important words any human can hear, "I love you".  After feeling a bullet enter her back, Denise called Stephanie and combated her fear with that simple yet profound proclamation. 

The final point of my story is that Denise survived. She survived because of the sacrificial commitment of another. She survived because of the love of a man, Shannon Johnson, who put his arm around her and declared three other words that will always echo in her heart, “I got you.” Amidst the chaos of bullets in the air and the hate of the assailants, Denise will “always remember [those] three words” and most certainly the love and life they represent.

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And with that story, my heart and mind have been settled. Whether I be in times of adversity and conflict or moments of doubt and fear, I will respond like Denise and Shannon and countless others before them; “I love you, I got you.” Because even when some silly sister missionary seems to despise your guts or somebody shoots you in the back, love is the remedy that heals all wounds and cures every disease.

During the past couple of months, I looked out on the world and I saw gangs in El Salvador, bigotry and hate in America, lost children and weeping mothers in the Middle East, burnt and demolished homes in Syria, and confusion across the globe.

The world around me seemed to perfectly reflect the words of my favorite Christmas song. I saw clearly how hate rang strong and mocked the song of Peace on Earth.

And in Despair, I bowed my head

There is no peace on Earth I said

For hate is strong and mocks the song

Of Peace on Earth goodwill to men

But

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep

God is not dead, nor does he sleep,

The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,

With peace on Earth goodwill to men

And so the past couple of months have helped me to affirm my now most deeply held belief that love will prevail.  And so I will love you. I love my God and I love he who hates my God. Be you straight, gay, Christian, or Jew I will love you. If you’re Muslim, Gentile, Syrian, Red-neck, rich or poor I will love you. If you love me or hate me I’ll love you.  I’m thankful to be a part of this world and I’m thankful for the role that you play in it. I’m thankful for the very special role that you play in my life and my development.

My religion may be very different than yours. My skin may be a different color, I may speak a different language, and my beliefs may directly conflict with yours. But, with those beliefs come the love and respect I have for you as my brother or sister with a divine potential that I will help you to realize through my love.

I love you, I got you.

Devon Kienzle