It’s late at night and I should be studying. But for a
little over two months now my mind and heart have been racing with emotions and
thoughts and spiritual ponderings over the events that have been occurring in
the world around me. I’ve started this blog several times – I have created
three different word documents now. Each contains paragraphs of notes, personal
stories, small observations, quotes, articles, and scripture.
These are some of the specific
large scale events that I reference;
On
October
27, 2015 the LDS Church wrote a letter to members of the Church
encouraging members to help with the refugee crisis in Europe. The LDS church
has spent millions of dollars there
throughout
the past decade and committed $5 million more in September. I was
proud of my church and to have already been a part of a small effort to raise
money for the crisis – weeks prior we had a special Family Home Evening where
we taught Lacy about the crisis and helped her be part of a fundraising project
where she donated her own money.
On
Nov.
05, 2015 the LDS Church made news across the country with a policy
change concerning children of same-sex marriages. Ultimately, the Church cut
itself out of these families/lifestyles and eliminated potential future
conflict. My social media exploded with conviction, emotion, confusion,
and only some love and acceptance.
On
November 13,
2015 Paris was under attack by terrorist plots to kill and hurt. The
refugee crisis quickly came into light again. My social media exploded with
conviction, emotion, confusion, and only some love and acceptance.
On
December 02,
2015 in San Bernardino, CA two individuals with apparent terrorist
motivations shot and killed 14 people and left 21 others injured. My social media
exploded with conviction, emotion, confusion, and only some love and acceptance.
Among my own family, we’ve been consistent with our
perspective on each of these emotional events. Nevertheless, my mind doesn’t
stop racing with this question, “What should I do?” I find a constant battle
within myself as I try and determine if I should say something, or comment on a
post, or update my status, or take a position. And if I do then what
should I say and how should I say it. Well, today I’m going to make it
clear of what I’ll do each and every time. I want to be undoubtedly clear about
what position I’ll take. But first, here’s the story that got me to stop
studying and start writing all this down.
___________________________________________________________
Stephanie Rose (Martinez) Baldwin was a Sister that I
served with on my LDS mission in Florida. I think she hated me for a
while. I remember legitimately feeling like she couldn’t stand my guts. But
for some reason, I couldn’t help myself but appreciate her more and more and
just be out-of-the-way cheesy nice to her. However, it seemed to me, that the
more I demonstrated my appreciation the more I felt like she disliked me. And
the more I felt like she disliked me, the more I appreciated her. And so it
went for months. She has since confirmed that our torturous cycle of like and
dislike was not in my head.
Eventually, I cornered her. I vividly remember asking her what I needed to do
to put us on good terms. Unfortunately, I have absolutely no memory of the rest
of that conversation. :o BUT, I continued to appreciate her. Some weeks later
(I’m foggy on the timeline) my roommate and I returned home and, to our total
surprise, we found home-made Rice Krispie treats mysteriously
awaiting us inside. The story could end there and I think we’d all be
satisfied. But with the delightfully scrumptious treats came a note containing
the “10 things I love about Elder Kienzle” from Sister Martinez. I
never felt the dislike, confusion, or hate again – those feelings had been
fully and unsparingly replaced with love, respect, mutual appreciation, and
peace. Six years later, she was one of the few people that helped me
pay for a trip to Guatemala where I treated the underserved in a free clinic,
shaped my future as a physician, and changed the foundation of how my family
looks at service. Apparently, love paid off. Strangers turned into family and
hate turned into love.
On December 02, 2015 I got to see Stephanie again, but this time on
national news. Her sister
had been shot. I watched from the comfort of my home as Stephanie recounted
the short, tear
filled phone call and recalled the three most important words any
human can hear, "I love you". After feeling a
bullet enter her back, Denise called Stephanie and combated her fear
with that simple yet profound proclamation.
The final point of my story is that Denise survived. She survived because of
the sacrificial commitment of another. She survived because of the love of a
man, Shannon
Johnson, who put his arm around her and declared three other words that
will always echo in her heart, “I got you.” Amidst the chaos
of bullets in the air and the hate of the assailants, Denise will “always
remember [those] three words” and most certainly the love and life they
represent.
__________________________________________________________
And with that story, my heart and mind have been settled.
Whether I be in times of adversity and conflict or moments of doubt and fear, I
will respond like Denise and Shannon and countless others before them; “I love
you, I got you.” Because even when some silly sister missionary seems to
despise your guts or somebody shoots you in the back, love is the remedy that
heals all wounds and cures every disease.
During the past couple of months, I looked out on the world
and I saw gangs in El Salvador, bigotry and hate in America, lost children and
weeping mothers in the Middle East, burnt and demolished homes in Syria, and
confusion across the globe.
The world around me seemed to perfectly reflect the words
of my favorite
Christmas
song. I saw clearly how hate rang strong and mocked the song of Peace on
Earth.
And in Despair, I bowed my head
There is no peace on Earth I said
For hate is strong and mocks the song
Of Peace on Earth goodwill to men
But
Then pealed the bells more loud and deep
God is not dead, nor does he sleep,
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,
With peace on Earth goodwill to men
And so the past couple of months have helped me to affirm
my now most deeply held belief that love will prevail. And so I will love
you. I love my God and I love he who hates my God. Be you straight, gay,
Christian, or Jew I will love you. If you’re Muslim, Gentile, Syrian, Red-neck,
rich or poor I will love you. If you love me or hate me I’ll love you.
I’m thankful to be a part of this world and I’m thankful for the role that you
play in it. I’m thankful for the very special role that you play in my life and
my development.
My religion may be very different than yours. My skin may
be a different color, I may speak a different language, and my beliefs may
directly conflict with yours. But, with those beliefs come the love and respect
I have for you as my brother or sister with a divine potential that I will help
you to realize through my love.
I love you, I got you.
Devon Kienzle
